Love Thy Neighbor
by Ignored Genius
Summary: AU. When Javert and Enjolras become neighbors in the same apartment complex they rage war against each other with a series of OOC pranks. E.G&I.G Production. REVIEW! For Bramble, cuz she's awesome. ENJOY!
1. Unexpected start D8

**LOVE THY NEIGHBOR**

AU. When Javert and Enjolras become neighbors in the same apartment complex they rage war against each other. E.G&I.G Production, REVIEW

Opening Author's note: (by I.G) Hi everyone! This is just a plot bunny that has burrowed itself into my brain and won't dig itself out so I have to write it down so I can move on with my life. E.G's here to help. ((E.G: -waves- Hi everyone!)) this is, a collab (am I just incapable of writing something by myself!?) just a silly little nothing, the beginning will go quickly but that's because we wanna move on with the actual plot. Hugo owns all characters, NOW REVIEW OR I'm gonna take yo thumbs.

"So, my friends! I ask you! Are you happy as an oppressed people!" A young blonde man cried from his soapbox, raising his arms in emphasis. "NO!" The crowd of about 35 responded in one voice.

"What do we need?" Enjolras continued.

"A republic!" The crowd chorused joyously, they're happy energy bouncing off of Enjolras' passionately frustrated energy.

"Why?"

"Because we don't like starving!"  
"That was a bit of a given… And because of this we say..?"

"Viva la revolution!" The crowd erupted in cheers, hats were thrown and Enjolras tried triumphantly to continue his speech.

**NEARBY**

A young officer looked up at Javert, "Shouldn't we stop him? He's really getting the crowd going." He said timidly watching as Enjolras continued to yell his beliefs over cheers of 'huzzah'. "I'll handle this, you watch, rookie." Javert said huskily as he forced his way through the crowd, snatched Enjolras off his high horse (and soapbox) and walked out the same way he walked in.  
"The king is—Whoa, wait, let go!" Enjolras cried out in surprise at being dragged by his collar away from the crowd ((I.G No one bothered to follow them because we all know Javert was très scary!)) "Enough out of you, you're going to jail for treason and attempting to start another revolution." Javert said coolly as he continued hauling Enjolras around the corner into a conveniently placed police station ((What do you want from me!?!))

**BEHIND BARS**

Enjolras shook the bars of his cell furiously and swore; "Let me out!" he yelled, shaking the bars as hard as he could, "You have no right to put me in here! What about freedom of speech?! The Press?! A TRIAL?!"

Javert, who was sitting at his desk, looked up, "You wanna give me your name and make my life easier?"Enjolras glared at him defiantly.

"No? Oh well, I can always get you a friendly roommate, a nice fella named Sharon!" Javert said nonchalantly getting up from his chair.

"My name's Enjolras." The revolutionary said quickly

"_The_ Enjolras family?" Inspector asked astounded.

"Yeah, don't rub it in." Enjolras said gloomily leaning against a bar in his holding cell.

Javert scowled, "Your parents could buy and sell this entire police force a thousand times over with a wave of their hands."

'They're also filthy bourgeois that hate me and my cause."

"So they won't make bail?" Javert asked, brightening on the inside.

"Of course they'll pay it, if the upper class hears that they're only son was sent to prison, they'll never live it down!" He paused, "But when they do find out, they'll come here and verbally assault both of us."

**SLIGHTLY LATER**

As Enjolras predicted, his parents came (in person) hours later.

"YOU BONE HEAD!!" E's mother raved as she stormed into the police station. Enjolras look up from his prison harmonica playing*, "I can explain _everything_!"

"Not you, HIM!!" His mother continued, pointing an accusing finger at Javert.

"Oh. Continue then." Our darling revolutionary said crossing his legs and smirking as his parents surrounded Javert's desk.

"Huh?" Javert asked unintelligently.

"You threw him in a holding cell?! With the . . . _middle _class?" The father accused angrily.

"He's a revolutionary, he was giving a speech when I arrested him," Javert said calmly.

"So!? He's an ENJOLRAS for Christ's sake, you can't do that to royalty."

"We're not royalty! Just— Rich." Enjolras said reluctantly.

"Sit down and shut UP!" She shrieked.

"Yes Ma'am." Enjolras said sitting on the ground obediently as there was no chair.

"But—"

"No buts! I've paid his bail now let him out so I can take him home!"

"Madame, he's—" Javert tried to speak again but was woefully interrupted once more.

"Leaving now, give me the keys." The father said as he stepped up and held out his manicured hand for aforementioned keys. ((I.G I want to put "Shut-up or I'm gonna take yo thumbs." But that's too modern XD)) Javert sighed and reached into his pocket to fish out his keys.

Enjolras, realizing his doom was in Javert's pocket ((E.G In the form of a key)) sprang up from his place on the floor and grabbed the bars. "I'm all too willing to do my jail time, actually!"

"The adults are having a grown up conversation!" The father shouted raising his manicured fist… The father pondered this on how a fist can be manicured but simply left it at that Authoresses are going on limited fuel. Enjolras paled and felt that that was the last pound on the last nail on his only coffin, to shorten things up; he just screwed himself into the ground. "You know uh, Inspector, I did hear that you were going soft after all those millenniums of service."

"Shut up, brat." Javert said dryly.

"Don't tell our son to shut up!" Preston (E's dad) exclaimed angrily.

"Can I tell you to shut up?" Javert asked sarcastically.

"NO! And enough lawly gaggin! Give us the keys now." Madame said as she reached (uninvited) into his pocket and drew out the keys, stormed over to the door and unlocked it, grabbed poor Enjolras by the ear and dragged him out.

**OUTSIDE THE POLICE STATION**

"Honestly! You can't behave yourself for a few..?"

"It's been years." Enjolras said tartly, Madame then proceeded in brutally twisting his ear "Ow! Okay okay! It's been a few weeks!" Enjolras lied for her sake and partially for him. She let go of him and patted his shoulder, "Now that that's over, what's wrong with your cravat?"

"What do you mean?" The Blonde asked cautiously, the woman tisked and grabbed aforementioned cravat and tightened it to the point were Enjolras couldn't breath. "Ah, that's better."

"Where's your hat?"

"Why's your hair so long? Get a hair cut, there plenty of barbers around here!"

"Wash your face, there's dirt on it."

"Your waist coat's dusty, how did you manage to do that?"

"There's a tear in your pant leg, have your woman sew it up!"

"Your shoes are scuffed."

"Button your vest, you look homeless."

"I-I-I" Enjolras stuttered stupidly trying to fix the many flaws they noticed that weren't really flaws at all.

"Oh forget it, just stay out of trouble and look you best at all times!" Preston scolded as he turned and lead his wife to an idling carriage.

INSIDE POLICE STATION

Javert watched with an unparalleled amusement as he watched from his window as Enjolras was examined and poked and prodded at until his parents walked away, smug as ever. What only dampened his mood slightly was when Enjolras' head turned around slowly like the exorcist and he mouthed "I will get you back for this", and walked away. Javert was unthreatened and pulled out his newspaper, for he had been looking for a new place to live since he realized he had the money for a better apartment…

**I.G: Can you guess where this is going???**

**E.G: Of course they can, we put it in the summary.**

**I.G: Quiet, yous. NOW REVIEW!! **

* All jail birds play the hermonica! Can't you see Blondie woefully playing the harmonica? I sure can! 8D


	2. Flats? Enemies? Abbey? Oh my!

This chapter was brought to by a game of paddy cake. Stop laughing we're serious! And we're uninspired. Enjoy. Neither of us are old Frenchmen thusly we own nothing but this plot. R&R OR I'LL EAT YOUR SOUL!!! –om nom nom nom-

Javert checked the address on the paper, it was the last place on his list of likely new apartments and he was somewhat looking forward to a slight change of environment; farther away form the scum of his current building in a better neighbor hood. The Inspector met the woman selling the ground level flat and had a chat.

"There's no criminal activity in this building?"

"Absolutely none! Rest assured you won't get robbed while you sleep."

Javert nodded, "Good, who would be my neighbors?"

"Oh, you're alone on this floor, but there's a young man who lives upstairs. He's a – student of some kind, I'm not sure he keeps to himself and is busy very often; he won't bother you, don't worry." Javert thought only a moment, "How much for a month's rent?"

*****

A few days later at about, oh let's say 8:30pm Javert ((E.G: And his sidekick, Abbey the Tabby XD Such shameless self-promotion)) moved into the new apartment that was tasteful and quaint but also at the same time—I won't bore you with details. Anywho, Javert carried a couple of boxes that consisted of a few books and some changes of clothes and some other necessities. He glanced around his surroundings, almost –if one dare say- smiling to himself as he hung his coat and hat and began unpacking. He noticed the peace and tranquility of his new home, the landlady was right in thinking that. It was quiet…Too Quiet… He had a neighbor someplace didn't he? Javert shrugged and reached into one of his boxes, pulling out a book; he sat down and began reading until he was tired enough to go to sleep.

THE NEXT MORNING

Enjolras ran from his room, half dressed, _meaning_ his cravat was in his hand, his waist coat was unbuttoned and he was jumping into his shoes and grabbing his books as he raced out the door. The blonde had gotten to bed late, and as consequence, woke up late. Muttering as he closed his door and hastily he began descending the stairs tying his cravat and juggling his books. Unfortunately he tripped and fell down the steps fortunately, he only had three steps to go but unfortunately ((I.G because I'm omnipotent)) he fell forward into his new neighbor who was exiting his apartment.

"Watch it!" His neighbor (wink) said, hastily getting to his feet.

"Sorry!" Enjolras apologized quickly as he jumped up to face the man he fell upon when he immediately recognized the face, "You!" he cried surprised, "You live here!?"

"What? What are you—you! And as of late, obviously, yes I live here!" Javert snapped as he straightened his uniform before storming out of the building.

The revolutionary snarled as he stooped to pick up his scattered books and papers when noticed something shiny in the corner of his eye, turning his head, he saw that it was a silver tinderbox with the letter 'J' engraved on the lid. Smirking, he put his books under one arm and picked it up, "I doubt I'll get this sort of opportunity again…" He mused thoughtfully as he opened the box and dumped all the snuff out, stomped it into the ground and placed the tinderbox purposely on the squished pile of before running out of the building and into the street, his pay back had cost him precious time in getting to class.

**I.G: now, REVIEW! If you read you should review, its courtesy. But any who, if y'all have a prank you want Javert to play on Enj or vise versa just tell us, we'll put it in! –hugs- **


	3. This means war!

Sorry the last chap was short, but I'm afraid this chap is short too, poor things. So… Hugo owns us all.  Chapter 3, Realization

Javert cuffed the con he had been tracking for a week now; smirking he handed him over to another idling police officer to be taken to prison. Very pleased with himself, Javert reached into his pocket for his snuffbox only to find it wasn't there. Confused, the inspector checked his pants pockets, fobs etc until he had to admit he misplaced it. Javert rolled his eyes in frustration; he had lost his tinderbox and truly needed a bit o' snuff. ((I.G: or he was going through a McDonald's with a machete XD,)) Deciding he had left it at home, and his shift was almost over; he woefully continued his day at work.

**LATER**

The Inspector wearily walked home, tired and snuff-deprived he made his way to his front door before he heard a small 'crunch'. "Oh crap, I stepped on someone's glasses or something" Our favorite inspector said. Once he removed his foot, he saw his tinderbox, a large dent indicating where his foot had unfortunately landed and below that, his snuff ((E.G His precious, precious SNUFF!!)) squashed into the hardwood. Javert betrayed his stony demeanor by letting his mouth fall open and gaping.

"Close your mouth, inspector, you look like a fish outta water." Enjolras said casually as he walked past him to the staircase.

"Of course you realize this means war!" Javert shouted angrily, raising his un-manicured fist.

Enjolras glared from at the top of the stairs, "And may the best man win!" At that, they both simultaneously opened and slammed their apartment doors, careful to lock them behind them.

Javert growled as he began pacing, "That little blonde rat! He'll pay. He… will … **pay**!" he muttered shaking his fist at the ceiling, not at God, but the blonde rat that lived above him. Abby the Tabby began rubbing against his leg, demanding his attention, but also wanting to chase the rat of which he spoke. "Oh yeah, cat's eat don't they?" The inspector said to Abby****** as he opened the door and let her outside to hunt mice before changing out of his work clothes into night clothes and sitting down in an armchair. "Little punk," Were Javert's last words as he drifted to sleep.

**THE NEXT MORNING**

Javert work with a start to the sound of a door being slammed, rushed footsteps and a couple of swears. He glanced at his watch and realized he still had an hour before he had to go to work; he was not in bed but in an armchair and Abby the Tabby was missing. Groaning he stood up and stretched, "Ugh, my back." Javert said miserably as he got dressed for work, realizing he should probably make sure Abby didn't do any harm to anything ((I.G: As in, scratching doors/wallpaper or peeing on newspapers/floors)).

As Javert stepped out of his apartment he glanced through the window to see Enjolras bolting down the street. His anger and nicotine addiction rekindled, the wheels in his mind turned and he slowly walked up the stairs towards Blondie's door. When Javert was a few steps from the top he saw a little gray tail swishing back and fourth. Abby rushed past him and down the stairs. Javert turned and looked at Enjolras' door, noting that it was open just a crack; in his haste Enjolras hadn't closed his door all the way. As he was about to shut his neighbor's door, he thought of his poor helpless snuff that was by now in the landlady's wastebasket; and with that motivation he opened the door fully and stepped inside. The apartment was identical to Javert's in its quaintness and the authoress' unwillingness to describe it.

Javert smiled mischievously as he glanced about the room. ((I.G: It isn't quite breaking and entering if he didn't break anything or steal- E.G Much.)) Noticing that the closest light fixture was a gas lamp across the room. "Must be fun for him to go across the room in the dark at night. Explains why there's a path cleared…" He muttered before trailing off once his eyes locked onto the footstool sitting harmlessly off to the side. Snickering as he went, he took footstool and placed it in between the door and gas lamp, making sure that when Enjolras walked in, he would trip on it. Then, with an amused look plastered on his face, Javert closed the door to his neighbor's apartment and then went to his apartment to close and lock his door before heading off to work early.

**E.G&I.G: But he didn't make sure Abbey was in there! :o**

****All of us talk to our cats/dogs or other pets when we're alone and we just want to make Javert a bit more.... human? nah, crazy. Just like us-runs screaming through the streets-**


	4. Avenging Javert

**Y'all are so nice, I wish I could hug you but I believe that is physically impossible… -hugs-**

Enjolras stumbled up the stairs to his room. He had spent the day in a particularly boring class and after that, had a not so successful meeting with his friends and had to lectured Grantaire for not going to Barrière Du Maine. But at the moment, he was glad to be home, and as he walked tiredly up the stairs and as he laid his hand on the doorknob and had the door opened when he heard a threatening hiss behind him. "Huh?" Enjolras turned in time to see a little gray tabby named Abbey leap forward and latch onto his lower leg, sinking her teeth and claws through his pant leg.

With a loud yell, Enjolras proceeded to stumble backwards into his room, kicking madly in an attempt to free himself from the kitty's evil grip. Sadly or gladly-it depends on whose corner you're rooting in, Javert's prank worked all to well and when Enjolras had can-canned himself across the room in the dark, he tripped and fell over the footstool, he had managed to turn himself half around before he crashed noisily to the ground, but that didn't keep the damn thing from tipping over and jabbing him with the leg. Abbey, unabashed and extremely pleased with herself, decided to take her leave; taking with her dear Enjolras' dignity.

Enjolras lay face first in the carpet for a minute, trying to distinguish what happened before he rolled over, "Oww. . . What was that?" He grumbled to himself as he limped to turn on the gas lamp before plopping down in the armchair to inspect his bleeding leg.

Through his open door, the blonde revolutionary heard someone trying to desperately hold back a laugh, getting to his feet, Enjolras cautiously looked out his doorway and peeked down the stairs and saw our dear Inspector harmlessly holding his furry feline. "Oh, hello neighbor." Javert said mockingly as he tipped his hat whilst smirking scornfully.

"That demon's your cat?" Enjolras demanded, watching as the cat inclined her head towards him and hissed again.

"Yes, she is." Javert said shrugging.

"Oh, that's just too suiting . . ."

"Anyway I sincerely hope that you don't have any other bad falls," Javert smiled his famous tiger smile.

Realization dawned over Enjolras, "Did you sic your cat on me or move my footstool?"

"Me? Who says I did anything? Hopefully, that taught you not to take other's tinder boxes," He began to turn away.

"This is _not _over!" Enjolras snapped shaking his equally un-manicured fist at Javert.

"I'm sure it isn't. Now go do your homework, and by the way-you're getting blood on the carpet. Till tomorrow, kiddo." And he retreated back into his flat.

Enjolras glanced down and was faintly concerned at the sight of blood running down the sides of his boot. Trying to hold back a mouth full of indignant speeches, Enjolras bit his tongue and strode painfully back into his own flat to fetch some bandages.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

**E.G: -collapses- Holy crap, you guys. I've proof read this thing over and over again, but couldn't post it cause Emily's lazy and won't log in . . . course I DO have those other stories I should be working on, but I'm so damn tired all the time and needed a break. And that break is—Well, you're reading it. –Glances around- Hey wait, where the hell IS I.G?**

**I.G: -walks in- Yo. Enjoy, buddies, poor E.G is real sick, so make E.G heal faster by leaving reviews. If you don't, I'll come after you… Lock your doors and check your windows. 8D Naw. Teasin ya, please review; I'll appreciate it greatly and so will my poor sick sister E.G **


	5. To Seek Revenge May Lead to Hell

**E.G&I.G: -peek out from around a barricade they built to protect themselves from vengeful readers- Um… Sorry, we were busy with school…?**

**Readers: THAT'S B.S AND YOU KNOW IT! –Hurls bricks, nightsticks, empty chairs, and empty tables- **

**E.G&I.G: -sigh- we suck, we know. BUT! Now let's play the pity card. Please review; we love you readers with… well some kind of fondness, I guess. Til then…**

**I.G: E.G MADE LEMON SQUARES!! –To E.G- Run, Forrest, RUN!!!**

**E.G AAAAHHH! –Is chased by lemon square loving/rabid/angry readers- **

**The Meeting **

"You were arrested?!" Courfeyrac laughed, "you of all people!"

Enjolras rolled his eyes, "And the fun has only just begun, the Inspector who arrested me moved into the apartment below me,"

The room burst into laughter.

"Oh, the irony!" Jehan said joyously.

"And he apparently decided to hold a grudge after I found his tinderbox and dumped out all the snuff,"

"You really shouldn't have done that," Combeferre corrected.

"I realize that now, mostly because he has a possessed cat and a way of getting into my apartment."  
"Possessed cat?"

"Yeah, uh—Abbey the Tabby or something like that,"

"Abbey the Tabby? That's the silliest thing to name a cat!" Bossuet said.

"I know. The silly name doesn't make her any less vicious." Enjolras said dejectedly. At that moment, Courfeyrac turned into his shoulder devil.

"Ah, but my friend!" The young man said smiling nastily, "You can't just let this kind of thing go. I remember back at my parent's house, there was this old man who boxed me and my friend's ears for going into his yard, and, so later we filled a bucket with water from the pond and put it above the door!" Courfeyrac's smile widened, "And when he opened it, it poured all over his fat bourgeois head!" He chuckled at the memory, "Ah, then his grandsons caught up with us and beat us to a pulp, Good times. Good, good times." He said waywardly. Enjolras pondered only a moment, "Courfeyrac, do you have a bucket?" Courfeyrac did his best to keep his horns hidden.

**At a dirty sewer entrance**

Enjolras and Courfeyrac stood ankle deep in Parisian sludge filling a bucket with as much crap as they could. "Do you think this is enough?" Courfeyrac asked lifting the bucket. The blonde shrugged, "I don't know… sure it's enough. Lets get out, it smells." So Revolutionary and Womanizer (yo a womanizer yea, womanizer womanizer-Brittany Spears, oh how I hate her.) went on their merry way towards the apartment complex that Enjolras and Javert shared.

~*~*~*~*

Javert cautiously entered the pitch-black hall of the apartment building ((I know it's a flat complex but it doesn't sound right. Apartment is a small scale flat. Yeeeah)) at about midnight and peaked up the stairs; there was no light under Enjolras' door. Blindly, he felt his way towards where he believed his door to be, turned the knob and stepped inside

**SPLASH! SLOSH! SQUISH! SLOP! S WORDS!**

The bucket full of unmentionables carefully placed by Enjolras and Courfeyrac fell directly onto Javert's head with a loud CLANG! The inspector took the bucket off and pitched across the room hard enough to break off the plaster, thankfully it didn't. He stumbled but maintained his balance; he carefully slopped his way across to the gas lamp and lit it. The smell could of knocked a vulture off a manure truck; a large vein protruded out of Javert's forehead, although unseen beneath the sludge. "BLONDE RAAAAAAT!!!"

"You called, dear neighbor?" Enjolras stood in his doorway; just centimeters form the large brown puddle. "My-my you keep such a messy flat." The revolutionary tisked sarcastically, shaking his head. Javert made a b-line to the blonde and grabbed his throat, "I'm going . . . to kill you."

"Whatever for?" He asked ever-so innocently.

"WHAT-EVER ELSE!?"

"Oh. You think _I_ did this." He pointed down, "Dear neighbor! I am insulted and deeply upset that you would accuse me of such a lowly and childish-Goack!" Javert throttled his scrawny, pale neck.

Suddenly a broom landed harshly on Javert's shoulders.

"That's enough, you two!" The land-lady, a short portly woman in her nightdress and curlers slapped them both in the head with her broom handle.

"I thought it was a couple of children squabbling in the hall! … get your hands off him!" Javert let go, leaving dirty handprints as witnesses to the crime. "Go to bed! And clean up this carpet by morning or I'm going to beat you into a squishy and unsightly paste!" She went away (never to be seen again) muttering to herself, "Honestly, if he's too old to not make it to the chamber pot in time, he should retire!" Javert's jaw dropped in complete offense; Enjolras chuckled scornfully as he ascended back to his room to clean up.

"See you tomorrow, buddy."

"Oh, I just met you and I know I'll hate you for the rest of my life." Javert swore on Mama-Javert's grave.

"I hate you, too."

**E.G: -hurls lemons squares into crowd- Take them!**

**I.G Just to clear things up, abbey just hates E just for living and breathing her air.**

**We love this chapter and we hope you do too, please review, buddies XD**


	6. He Means to Marry Her Monday! D:

**I.G: High school has had its ups and downs. Mostly downs. But that's the point right? Anyway, its Thanksgiving break. . . **

**E.G: I'm so tired!!! –weeps hysterically-**

**I.G: Right-o. And on top of wishing you all a wonderful holiday, it'd be much appreciated if you pitched a review my way. Much obliged and, once more, ya'll have a Happy Thanksgiving. **

**E.G: -snores-**

*~*~*~*~*~*

Javert glanced at the café sign before he entered, immediately spotting just the people he wanted to see, "Excuse me, young sirs," he said politely as he approached them, "Have you seen my nephew Enjolras?"

Courfeyrac glanced over shoulder, "What do you want with Enjolras?"

"Me? I want nothing with Enjolras, I was looking for him with his dear fiancée,"

Smirks and laughter spread like wild fire through the Amis; Javert forced himself not to scowl at them, when the whole situation was actually very funny to him also, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Courfeyrac said innocently, "I think you've got the wrong man,"

Javert quirked an eyebrow, "He's blonde, tall, long-winded?"

The Amis glanced at each other in confirmation to the identification of their friend.

"Who might be the young lass?" Bossuet asked with a smile plastered to his face.

"Why-uh- that charming young lady out there," Javert answered, pointing out the window to a young brunette lady strolling down the street alongside a white haired gentleman. At this Marius, unnoticed by the rest, turned pale as marble.

"Her? Reallllly?" Courfeyrac's grin widened. Javert nodded, "Well if he's not here, I'll check somewhere else," and away he did go.

"This is perplexing!" Feuilly announced once he left the room. The Amis nodded as one, "You can say that again." Combeferre said, cleaning his glasses, Feuilly repeated; "This _IS_ perplexing!" *drums and symbols*

Javert paused outside the café entrance and allowed himself to go into a laughing fit before walking away.

A WHILE LATER

Enjolras quietly closed the backroom door and turned to see all of his friends (and Grantaire) staring at him with wide grins.

"Aha Enjolras!" Bossuet came forward and pushed him into a chair, "Well, your secret has been found out, congrats!"

Enjolras raised an eyebrow, "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb!" Courfeyrac said as he rifled though a cabinet, "Though I have to say; it's about time!"

"We're all actually very proud of you," Joly said pleasantly nodding.

"Here we are!" Courfeyrac emerged with a bottle of wine, "I believe a toast is in order,"

"But—" Enjolras protested, but he was quickly drowned out by cheers, "What for?"

"You know!" Feuilly clapped him on the shoulder.

"I really don't . . ."

"Your engagement!" Jehan lifted his glass.

"My engagement to what?" Enjolras was now slightly flustered and very suspicious.

"Marriage!"

Enjolras, like Marius, grew deathly pale.

" . . . Maybe we should get a more credible information source. . ." The Amis shrugged and drank their wine while settling back down before they noticed something.

"Hey, where'd Marius go? Did he take Enjolras with him do you think" Combeferre said.

Outside the café

__Marius jerked a shocked blonde by the collar to the street and looked him in the eye "You stay away from her!" Enjolras looked both ready to kill and blindly confused, "Who?!" Marius, in a rare show of manliness, threw a punch, "You know very well who!" Enjolras had been waiting for an excuse to use violence in order to vent; so he threw a punch back. "Get a hold of yourself, Pontmercy! I don't know what you're talking about!"

They duke it out.

Combeferre, who had had enough celebration wine wandered out of the café and immediately saw Enjolras and Marius 'duking' it out. "Hey cut it out!" The doctor cried as he grabbed hold of Enjolras' shoulder and pulling him away. Marius took advantage of this by grabbing Enjolras' cravat and gave it a yank, thus strangling him.

"Marius calm down!" the doctor let go of the blonde and shoved the lawyer away. While Marius was being dragged away, Enjolras ((I.G who had reopened his airway)) took a lunge at the stumbling lawyer.

Combeferre was inevitably sandwiched between them, "KNOCK IT OFF!" he pushed them apart, "What's going on here!?"  
"He's getting married to the love of my life!" Marius cried as he dusted off his jacket front.

"He bit me! The little bastard bit me!"

"No need for harsh language, Enjolras." Combeferre chided gently, "So… He's a thief?"

"No! My neighbor's a liar!" Enjolras shouted indignantly.

"So you're not getting married to my love and you don't have an uncle." Marius stated unevenly.

Enjolras nodded sarcastically, "Ding! Ding! Ding! Now give me three good reasons why I shouldn't mash you into a messy and unsightly pulp,"  
Combeferre sighed, "#1;Please don't, #2 then you'll never hear the end of it from Courfeyrac when he has no one to split the rent with. #3; you'll be arrested for assault." At hearing the word 'arrested' Enjolras let out a frustrated yell all of Paris could hear, even Javert across town could hear it; he chuckled and continued whacking the crap out of a criminal. Enjolras stormed into the café without another word. Combeferre looked at Marius over the rim of his glasses,

"Run." Marius obliged

Enjolras went back into the back room and preceded to rain on everyone's parade, "Who told you I was getting married?"

Courfeyrac glanced up, cautious about his tone, "Uh— your uncle, uncle… Did he give us a name?"

"No, he didn't." Boussuet said.

"My 'uncle' wouldn't happen to be tall, uniformed, and have small shrubs growing off the sides of his face, would he?" The Amis nodded; Enjolras was livid, "I'm not engaged! That man who came in here was my vengeful neighbor!"

Grantaire shrugged, "Knew it was too good to be true, but at least the wine's good." Shrugging the drunk downed his wine.

"There's no lady in your life, right? Just for the record." Courfeyrac asked.

"Only Patria."

"Great, which way did that sweet little lady go?"

**DID YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER? PLEASE REVIEW!!!!! Shout out to Whisper of the Winds for giving us the idea for this chapter, you are awesome. **


	7. Over Top of the stairs

**Reviews? Anyone? Helloooooo? Whatever, enjoy this chapter, even if you don't voice your enjoyment. :D E.G: or hatred. **

Enjolras walked with thunderous rage into the apartment complex where Javert was leaning against his doorframe.

"What kind of flowers will you have at the reception, dear neighbor?"

"What!"

"Am I invited?"

"Of course you're not invited!" Enjolras realized what he had just said, and opened his mouth to say something witty. Unfortunately for him he drew up a blank, he desolately walked up the steps. It's at this moment he saw his chance for revenge.

Abbey the Tabby slept peacefully at the top of the steps. Javert had unbeknownst set his pet up for disaster when he had let her out for the night as he was accustomed to. The revolutionary glanced behind him just in time to see Javert's door shut before scooping the cat up and dodging inside his flat. He held in his maniacal laughing and screams of pain as he operated on the feline.

**THE NEXT MORNING (Saturday) **

Javert peeked out his door quietly and looked about the hallway, deciding it was safe he swung the door open and stepped outside.

"Abbey?" The inspector said in disbelief.

The cat mewed pathetically and stood, fully displaying the large 'E' that was her sole remaining fur on her side. "Oh you little animal abusing piece of sh-!"

"You called?" Enjolras said in uncharacteristically chipper voice from his seat on the stairs. Javert stormed up to him and glared, "You… shaved my cat!"

Enjolras stood and feigned a hurt look, "Who said I did anything? You have enemies, one of them did it."

"Only you have an E name!"

Enjolras shrugged and turned to go down the stairs and out to do some errands, "How should I know?" He smiled tauntingly, "I'm but an innocent bystander." He made a move towards the door.

"Not so fast." Javert grabbed the back of his shirt collar and yanked him off the stair, "Now you listen to me—"

"I don't have much of a choice do I?" Enjolras said pointedly, gesturing to the ground that he was being held above. The inspector set him back on the ground but kept his grip on his collar, "You do anything else to anything of mine—"

"I am but a witness, Inspector," Enjolras reminded, smirking, "Innocent until proven guilty, right?"

Enjolras pushed Javert's big hands off him, "Now if you're done harassing me, I've got other things to do." He pushed past him and went out. Javert scowled and waited until he was out of sight before heading back to his flat, the day was his only day off, and he intended to spend it devising a revenge prank.

**LATER**

Enjolras was exhausted. All day he had to run from place to place, and by the time he got to the meeting, 45 minutes early as usual, Grantaire was already there and spent the 45 minutes ranting at him about the Gods and Latin. Needless to say, Enjolras got very little done.

Now as he walked through the front door, he noticed a large comfortable armchair parked outside Javert's door and a large 'X' on the floor two feet from the chair, "Well, that's odd—" He commented but thought nothing of it as he went up the stairs. Poor, trusting Enjolras.

Enjolras opened his door and immediately heard a click and the lamp across the room was suddenly lit.

"What the…?" He looked up in time to see his foot stool slam clear into his chest. Alas, this unfortunate event sent him stumbling backwards over the top of the stairs that began a mad tumble that ended with him face down on the hardwood floor below his room.

After a minute, he raised his head slightly and rolled over onto his back just over the top of the steps he could see his footstool, now harmlessly swinging lightly from a rope suspended from the rafters. "Hell?"

"I told you not to have anymore bad falls, dear neighbor," A voice said above him.

Enjolras quickly tilted his head and stared at the very amused face of Javert; who was seated in the armchair.

"You bastard! That could've killed me!"

"I'll admit it that when you first landed I thought you were dead, boy would my face of been red."

"Is that a confession?" Enjolras snapped.

"Not at all! Just imagine my surprise if I walked home to find a dead 14 year old girl on my door step, THAT would be embarrassing," Javert crossed his legs and smirked down at him until the blonde had gathered the will power to force himself up the stairs to his flat.

Needless to say neither of them slept well that night

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